Fabian Schonholz’s Blog

I read My Heroes post to my wife and it was bitter-sweet to her. On one hand she loved the fact that I expressed myself and also loved the content. But she felt left out. “How come I am never mentioned in the same way you mention your father or children?” she asked.

Truth be known I always talk about my wife but in a different way. With just as much energy but different. After all she is my wife and my relationship with her is indeed different - for starters, there is sexual intimacy - and thank god, a lot of it.

So, this post is for her, so she does not feel left out, because, she should not.

When I talk about my wife I tell whomever would listen “how lucky I am”. She is very supportive of all I do. She takes care of my every needs. She is always there. She spoils me. Yeah yeah yeah … she cooks and does laundry too … but she does not clean the house, for that we have a cleaning lady.

When I am down, she pumps me up. When I am sad, she help me understand. When am afraid, she helps me feel my fears and face them. When I am stress … well … she takes care of my stress ;). She is more than my wife or my life partners. She is my friend; she is my confidant; she is my “better” half; she completes me.

When we got married our best man said: “They are more than perfect for each other.” And we are. Indeed we are.

Before we had children we would breakfast in front of the TV watching cartoons and more often than not, we would make love. Since we had children things have changed, but we continue to make love. And our children are, by the full meaning of the phrase, a product of our love.

I would feel lost without her.

Today somebody asked me what gets me excited. I thought for a short while and once again I remembered what is really important and why I do what I do: My Heroes.

Who are my heroes?

First and foremost my father. He was a fantastic man who died before his time. He was a powerful guy in all sort of different ways and a presence to reckon with. At the age of 50 he was diagnose with Halzeimer’s decease and at 69 he died of related complications. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of him.

For a long time I was very upset with him for getting sick, not being there, and finally not only dying but missing out on the family I helped build. My wonderful kids will never be directly influenced by my father and they are definitely missing out on that. Recently, however, I understood and forgave him and myself. It has been a hard road to get there, but I am finally OK with him not being around. Now I am just sad; he would have enjoyed my family.

Although my kids will never be influenced by my father, I was. And I do what I do to keep his legacy alive and pass that onto my kids, with a little bit of a “Fabian” flavor. Of course. His memory not only is a light, but a roadmap.

Second and just as important, my kids. They are the most wonderful people I have ever met. They are the light in my eyes, the sun and the moon, the oxygen in my every breath and the blood in my veins. I never really wanted kids; you see, I am a very selfish guy, so kids ruined all of that but … my kids have really taught me about selflessness. Kids by nature are selfish, including my kids. But there is a quality in my kids that becomes the fabric of our family; the fuel that keeps us going and the glue that keeps us together.

This last month they both have been gone to sleep-away-camp. My wife and I have missed them terribly but at the same time we are happy that they are having a fantastic time and are becoming more independent. Yes, we are encouraging to fly the coop, with the hopes that they will always think of us as “home“.

So there, these are my heroes. Thinking about my father and enjoying the memories get me excited every day. And my kids … not just thinking about them, but watching the grow, mentoring them, showing them the world, chatting with them. How can I not be excited?